【学习笔记】斯坦福SCI写作课 Unit 1
Writing in the Sciences——Kristin Sainani from Stanford University
Unit 1: Introduction; principles of effective writing
Module 1.1 Introduction
什么才能算好的写作？
1.逻辑性：清楚表达观点； 2.文字能力：语言优美，格式规范
怎样才是好的作者？可习得的
1.言之有物；2.逻辑性；3.科技文的规范和要点（本文所学）
而不是：天赋；英语文学功底；艺术填写；酒精和毒品刺激；灵感
除了本课，还可以通过以下额外练习，成为好的作者：
1.阅读大量好的文章，并模仿
2.写日记
3.抛弃论文写作的坏习惯，后续课程会详细教学
4.动笔之前，先口头表述，整理清楚
5.不要写得让读者厌倦
6.不要等待灵感，写论文是一项熟练的工作，任何时候都可以开始
7.写作对任何人都难，不是只对你难，不要气馁
8.论文需要反复修订，不可能像随笔写出来就完美，也不要因为这种想法将大量时间浪费在文字表达上
9.删繁就简
10.找个人做你的编辑，看TA的评价来修改或者让TA帮你修改
11.敢于冒险，不要拘泥，拥有自己的写作风格
Module 1.2 Examples of what not to do
作者：我不是特指你，我是说在坐每一个人……
没有没有没有，作者说她不拉踩，她只是觉得如果写得更简洁准确，对读者会更友好。而不是制造阅读困难没人愿意看的垃圾。
你看我这个表情包就是上一节说的——“Try not to bore your readers”，所谓活学活用！嘿嘿~
下面看作者精心挑选的三个漏洞百出的例子：
Adoptive cell transfer (ACT) immunotherapy is based on the ex vivo selection of tumor-reactive lymphocytes, and their activation and numerical expression before reinfusion to the autologous tumor-bearing host.
遇见这种每个词都不懂连在一起更不懂的句子，我第一时间挑自己毛病：
你怎么不好好学习！句子都看不懂！词汇量太不行了吧！滚滚滚去学习！
当然一般来说，我不太能遇到这种问题，
因为首先我不太看论文，
其次，我直接扔彩云小译/谷歌翻译。
咳咳。不过作者说了！不是读者的问题！不是读者的问题！不是读者的问题！这哥们写的不行！
到处用名词！乱丢术语！
注意例句里加粗的名词，（偶本来感觉很高大上滴说），作者说了不好！
我被Kristin老师这手先声夺人震住了，后面我一定好好学习。【博主嘴角留下悔恨的泪水】
老师如此教导：
你写的时候先问问自己：
1.好懂吗？2.让人享受吗？
(⊙o⊙)…这个要求着实有点高，享受啥的，害，不都是为了生活吗，咱也不敢问咱也不敢挑。
再看第二个例子：
These findings imply that the rates of ascorbate radical production and its recycling via dehydroascorbate reductatse to replenish the ascorbate pool are equivalent at the lower irradiance, but not equivalent at higher irradiance with the rate of ascorbate radical production exceeding its recycling back to ascorbate.
还是灵魂发问：
1.能读懂不？（…不能）
2.写这么一长串，你获取到信息了吗？（…并没有）
老师（满意）：这就是因为他写的不好！你看加粗这里他语义重复！
我：(⊙o⊙)…
老师反手抛出她的修改版本：
These findings imply that, at low irradiation, ascorbate radicals are produced and recycled at the same rate, but at high irradiation, they are produced faster than they can be recycled back to ascorbate.
卧槽，我好像能看懂了！老师牛批！！！
就是嘛，好好的人话非要搞成看不到的亚子！这样多清爽！
正所谓：删繁就简三秋树，领异标新二月花！舒适~
老师总结这门课的要点：
1.复杂的思想和内容不需要复杂的言语来表述；
2.科技文就是要让人看得开心~
顺便揭露这种乱象的真相：
“My professor friend told me that in his academic world, ‘publish or perish’ is really true. He doesn’t care if nobody reads it or understands it as long as it’s published.”
From: Anne Ku. “The joys and pains of writing and editing,” Le Bon Journal, 2003
这种得罪同行的话原也不会轻易说的，标明原作者就行 。
Module 1.3 Overview: principles of effective writing
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
这段话是一个集大成者，值得反复学习讨论：
1.使用名词替代动词，造成语句蠢钝；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
2.模糊用词（vague words）需要尽量避免；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has …. Therefore, molecular species that can ….
该词所指过于广泛
3.不必要的专业用语和缩写；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis.
miR并没有节省多少字母，且RNA本身就已经是缩写了
gliomagenesis
其实我觉得这种错误经常出现在非英语母语的研究人员的论文中。我们习惯于先写母语，再用翻译器翻译，最后修改，这样就会因为对用词的把握不恰当，或者对于缩写习惯的不熟悉，而产生错误。
要注意避免这个问题。
4.被动语态的不恰当使用；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression.这里没有用被动语态的必要性。
5.主谓间隔太远，不利于阅读。
Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
主语和谓语之间嵌套从句。
修改后：
Changes in microRNA expression play a role in cancer, including glioma. Therefore, events that disrupt microRNAs from binding to their target RNAs may also promote cancer.
总结：
1.删除不必要的文字；
2.使用主动形态（active voice）而非被动语句：subject+verb+object;
3.尽量使用动词而非名词，并且注意不要让谓语淹没在长句中。
个人理解：虽然我们认为好像比起名词，动词显得没那么高级，但是文章追求的是可读性，并不追求晦涩难懂。用最简单语句做出最准确的表达，才是我们真正要追求的。我们要从误区中走出来。骈文骊句固然优美，却不是实用性的最佳选择，更会隔绝受众。而“逸马杀犬于道”，虽平铺直诉，但地点人物事件俱全，干练简洁，也能传颂千年。
Module 1.4: Cut the clutter
The secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what—these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. And they usually occur in proportion to the education and rank.
—— William Zinsser in On Writing Well, 1976
作者借这句引用提到删去冗杂的几个要点：
无意义的语句；过长可简化的语句；已由动词体现的副词；不合时宜的被动语句……
举例：
1.This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as examples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.
This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.
2.As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.
Increased athletic activity is associated with lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure, and improved fitness.
Increased athletic activity lowers cardiovascular risk and blood pressure, and improves fitness. (stronger level of evidence)
3.The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.
The experiment provides the first proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.
删除非必要的单词：
1.警觉&&无情；
2.试试看删除之后是否能表达愿意。
Brain injury incidence shows two peak periods in almost all reports: rates are
the highest in young people and the elderly.
Brain injury incidence peaks in the young and the elderly.
文章中常见的杂乱表述：
1.无用且让读者感觉沉重的话
• As it is well known
• As it has been shown
• It can be regarded that
• It should be emphasized that
2.意思模糊的单词
• basic tenets of
• methodologic
• important
3.可以缩短的词组和单词
• muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
| Wordy version | Crisp Version |
|---|---|
| a mjor of | most |
| a number of | many |
| are of the same opinion | agree |
| less frequently | rare |
| all three of the | three |
| give rise to | cause |
| Due to the fact that | affect |
| have an effect on | affect |
| based on the assumption that | if |
The expected prevalence of mental retardation, based on the assumption that intelligence is normally distributed, is about 2.5%.
The expected prevalence of mental retardation, if intelligence is normally distributed, is 2.5%.
4.非必要的术语和缩写
• muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
• Gliomagenesis
• miR
5.重复的单词或从句
• studies/examples
• illustrate/demonstrate
• challenges/difficulties
• successful solutions
A robust cell-mediated immune response is necessary, and deficiency in this response predisposes an individual towards active TB.
Deficiency in T-cell-mediated immune response predisposes an individual to active TB.
6.可删除的副词
very, really, quite, basically, generally, …
Module 1.5：Cut the clutter, more tricks
1.不使用否定句（not）
| Negative | Positive |
|---|---|
| not honest | dishonest |
| not harmful | safe |
| not important | unimportant |
| does not have | lacks |
| did not remember | forgot |
| did not pay attention to | ignored |
| did not succeed | failed |
• She was not often right. —> She was usually wrong.
• She did not want to perform the experiment incorrectly. —> She wanted to perform the experiment correctly.
• They did not believe the drug was harmful. —> They believed the drug was safe.
2.不使用“there are/there is”
• There was a long line of bacteria on the plate. —> Bacteria lined the plate.
• There are many physicists who like to write. —> Many physicists like to write.
• The data confirm that there is an association between vegetables and cancer.
—> The data confirm an association between vegetables and cancer.
• There are many ways in which we can arrange the pulleys.
—> We can arrange the pulleys in many ways.
3.删去无用的介词
• The meeting happened on Monday. —> The meeting happened Monday.
• They agreed that it was true. —> They agreed it was true.
Module 1.6: Practice cutting clutter
这一节是练习，我把题目整理在pdf里可以直接下载打印做练习。
链接：https://pan.baidu.com/s/1a8hQylR-OaSRnUHTZukh6w
提取码：pqjj
1.Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease. Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.
2.Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long been known to be among the most
devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.
5.As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up , there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.
答案：
1.Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of newborns.
2.Besides preventing cancer, p53 also plays roles in aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are among the most devastating and expensive.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal, reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.
5.Figure 2 shows that a return kinetic energy less than 3.2 Up yields two electron trajectories.