黑客大会:defcon_关系黑客：成人津贴制度
黑客大会:defcon
I got a Nintendo Switch yesterday. Bought it with cash, brought it home, set it up, and - with neither shame nor regret - showed my non-gamer spouse.
昨天我有一个Nintendo Switch 。 用现金购买，带回家，进行设置，并且-既不丢脸也不后悔-向我的非博彩配偶展示。
"That's cool," she said. "Is that the new Nintendo 64 they were talking about on the radio?"
“那很酷，”她说。 “难道是他们在广播中谈论的新的Nintendo 64吗？”
No judgment. Not a comment about the $300 price tag. Nothing was said like "do we really need another game?" or "what credit card did you buy that with?"
没有判断力。 没有评论300美元的价格标签。 没有人说“我们真的需要另一款游戏吗？” 或“您用什么信用卡购买了？”
How is this possible? No fight (not even a lowercase F fight) and no tension.
这怎么可能？ 没有打架(甚至没有小写的F架打架)，也没有张力。
My wife and I give each other an allowance. In cash.
我和我的妻子互相给予津贴。 用现金。
Every two weeks when our paychecks are deposited, we each get an allowance. It's a $100 a week (yes, for some that's a lot, for others, it's not. It works for us.) and it's the same for each of us. We put all our money in one account, give ourselves the allowance, pay the bills, then if there is anything left over it goes it savings.
每两周存入薪水，我们便分别获得津贴。 这是每周100美元(是的，对于很多人来说，对其他人而言，不是。它对我们有用。)对我们每个人来说都是相同的。 我们把所有的钱都存入一个帐户，给自己零用钱，付账单，然后，如果还有什么钱可以节省。
Let me back up. We used to a bicker and judge each other for our purchases. If you'd log into our bank you'd see something like:
让我备份。 我们过去常常争吵不休，互相判断是否购买我们的产品。 如果您登录我们的银行，将会看到以下内容：
- Paycheck 薪水支票
- Mortgage 抵押
- Car Note 车注意
-
$5 Starbucks
$ 5星巴克
-
$3 Subway
$ 3地铁
-
$8 Chipotle
$ 8 Chipotle
-
$60 GameStop
$ 60 GameStop
-
$70 Nordstrom
70美元的Nordstrom
HOLD UP. What is that GameStop? Well, what's this Nordstrom? Did you need to be getting that [widget?]
耽误。 那是什么GameStop？ 好吧，这是诺德斯特罗姆？ 你需要得到那个[小部件吗？]
You get the idea. We needed to remove all that noise at the bottom of the ledger as it was distracting us from the larger goals.
你明白了。 我们需要消除分类帐底部的所有杂音，因为这会分散我们对更大目标的注意力。
Then my wife had the idea that we just needed to pay ourselves first. We can spend that money however we like - with promised zero judgment from the other spouse. That's crucial, otherwise the system doesn't work.
然后我妻子想到我们只需要先付清自己的钱。 我们可以随心所欲地花掉这笔钱-承诺另一方的零判决。 这至关重要，否则系统将无法正常工作。
The allowance for anything that isn't "necessarily living stuff." So it's not for toothpaste, but it IS for eating out when we don't need to eat out.
补贴任何非“必需的生活必需品”。 因此，它不是用于牙膏，而是在我们不需要外出就餐时用于外出就餐。
I could have eaten at Chipotle each day this week, but that would come out of my allowance. Instead, I chose to eat at home all month and save my allowance for a Nintendo Switch.
我本周每天都可以在Chipotle吃东西，但这是我的零用钱。 取而代之的是，我选择了整个月在家里吃饭，并节省了购买Nintendo Switch的津贴。
This works - of course - both ways. My wife has hobbies and social stuff that she does, and she uses her allowance for that.
当然，这两种方法都起作用。 我妻子有自己的爱好和社交能力，她为此花费了自己的零用钱。
If you made it this far, perhaps you're thinking, "wow, you're a wimp" or "gee, he/she has you in their pocket." Wait.
如果您走了这么远，也许您在想，“哇，您真是个imp夫”或““，他/她把您放在口袋里了”。 等待。
Step back and absorb. We are grown-ass people. This system works because we designed it for us. All arguments around "frivolous" spending are gone.
退后一步吸收。 我们是大佬。 该系统起作用是因为我们为我们设计了它。 关于“轻描淡写”支出的所有争论都消失了。
This allows us the best of all worlds.
这使我们拥有了世界上最好的。
- It keeps credit card spending to an absolute minimum. 它将信用卡支出保持在绝对最低水平。
- We are empowered and we empower each other with this system. 我们拥有这个系统的能力，我们也彼此赋予了力量。
- There's a certain sense of power in carrying cash. You know exactly how much you have and exactly when you have to stop spending. 携带现金有一定的力量感。 您确切知道自己有多少，以及何时必须停止支出。
-
We can decide if we want $200 shoes or a $100 meal or a $50 game. One spouse comes home excited about their purchase while the other greets them without resentment. The fixed allowance amount handles that.
我们可以决定是否要200美元的鞋子，100美元的餐费或50美元的游戏。 一位配偶回家后对他们的购买感到兴奋，而另一位却毫无怨言地向他们打招呼。 固定津贴额处理了这个问题。
- Additional spending is discussed on a case-by-case basis. But we've picked an amount that is large enough that I could buy something crazy like a Vive - if I am willing to forgo movies, excessive eating out, etc. 额外支出将根据具体情况进行讨论。 但是，我们选择的金额足够大，如果我愿意放弃看电影，过度吃饭等，我可以买一些像Vive这样的疯狂物品。
- It sets a good example for the kids as they watch us weigh the pros and cons of a purchase. Money is spent when it's in-hand and not on credit. 这为孩子们树立了一个很好的榜样，因为他们看着我们权衡购买的利弊。 钱花在手边而不是信贷上。
My wife and I are in a mixed marriage. It's not that I'm White and she's Black, is that I'm a techie/geek/nerd and she's fairly normal. ;) Of course, this kind of mix isn't gender or race specific. I know lots of couples of varying combos and flavors that bump up against issues in their relationships because of budding resentment, missed or poorly set expectations, divergent points of view around problem solving, and more.
我和我的妻子是混血儿。 不是我是白人，她是黑人，不是我是技术人员/怪胎/书呆子，而且她很正常。 ;)当然，这种混合方式不分性别或种族。 我知道很多对夫妇的不同组合和口味会因他们的不满情绪，对期望的错过或设定不佳，围绕解决问题的观点分歧而在关系中遇到问题。
I'd love to hear YOUR story of your partner and your "mix" and how you (mostly) solved it with a simple Relationship Hack like this. Sound off in the comments.
我很想听听您关于您的伴侣和您的“混搭”的故事，以及您(通常)如何通过一个简单的Relationship Hack解决问题(如上)。 在评论中听起来不错。
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关于斯科特 (About Scott)
Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
斯科特·汉塞尔曼(Scott Hanselman)是前教授，前金融首席架构师，现在是演讲者，顾问，父亲，糖尿病患者和Microsoft员工。 他是一位失败的单口相声漫画家，一个玉米种植者和一本书的作者。
翻译自: https://www.hanselman.com/blog/relationship-hacks-an-allowance-system-for-adults
黑客大会:defcon